If you’re just here for the list, scroll down 🙂
I saw something the other day about what it looks like when you have ADHD and finally take your mask of forcing yourself to be neurortypical off around someone you fee comfortable with. This really got me thinking about a few things.
At first, if I’m being completely honest, I was a tiny bit jealous. Mostly, I was jealous of the fact that ADHD has had so much attention and research paid to it over the years that most people know what it is or what it means when someone is talking about ADHD. PCOS doesn’t have that – like AT ALL. In fact, unless you or someone close to you has it, most people have no idea what having PCOS even means. This even includes most general care doctors too, sadly!
The reality about PCOS is that it is a VERY personal affliction that affects 1 in 10 women worldwide. So why don’t we have the type of research or representation that ADHD warrants when nearly 10% of women world wide have it??? For comparison, only 2.8% of adults (men AND women) world wide have ADHD. While I could make numerous assumptions as to why I think this is the case, I won’t go down that rabbit hole.
If you think about it, PCOS is a very personal health issue because it not only affects our reproductive organs, but it encompasses our whole bodies. Many women have to tweeze, wax, get facials, spend money on expensive supplements, buy waist trainers, go on diets, get on birth control, drink this tea, do that thing, stick your legs up in the air after intercourse to try to get pregnant, the list goes ON. Why aren’t more people aware of this, normalizing this, educating on this?! It affects your whole system from ovarian pain, to total body pain, to excessive hair growth to excessive hair loss, unexplained weight gain with the inability to lose it ourselves, having to call out of work because of period pain or heavy flow and all of the fatigue and nausea associated with it.
This doesn’t even mention the mental health side of things! Depression, self loathing, envy of “normal”girls, or that gut sinking envy that swells up every time one of your friends posts a pregnancy announcement. I totally get it, I’ve been there too.
But on the outside nothing looks wrong and unless we are trying to get pregnant, no one in the health care field sees the value in trying to get it under control. I’m angry about this. Like genuinely furious. That is why keeping this blog up to date is so important to me. Not everyone has a mom who believes in alternative medicine and raised them to look deeper into health issues than just slapping some birth control on it and calling it a day. I want to help you all see the value that lies within taking yourself seriously and all of the details that come with trying to get your PCOS under control. It is a long road, but the journey to self discovery through it all is worth investing your time in. I say that to you all as I am preaching to the choir over here.
I see you. I feel your pain. I personally know the mess of emotions that floods your brain throughout the day and the unique fatigue that comes from trying to self regulate these emotions before they come out and make you seem crazy. You’re not crazy and you deserve more than to have to just blame it on being hormonal. I’m taking you seriously, and all of the other women with PCOS are taking you seriously as well.
Valentine’s Day can be a particularly depressing time for women for so many different reasons. For me, it’s because I have had to learn over the years that the way men show women love in the real world is not at all like how it’s shown on TV. The depiction of Valentine’s Day romance on TV is the result of the writers of the shows and movies psychologically manipulating us because they know how women fantasize about being truly loved and cared for. It’s set the bar unrealistically high in our minds. Men need to put in effort, but if you want a bed covered in rose petals and a spur of the moment rendezvous at a hotel in the city, you’re probably going to have to do it yourself.
And the thing is, it’s worth it to do for yourself. Regardless of your relationship status, I challenge you to romance yourself. It might sound silly, but think about it – you are the only one who truly rides through your whole life with you. You have been through a LOT with yourself. If you had been through a lot with your significant other, you might try to get away on a little vacation to relax and reconnect. Why wouldn’t you do this for yourself too?!
If you’re like me, you might even wear your mask when you’re alone with yourself sometimes. But girl, that’s exhausting! Have you ever considered taking it off and spending some time alone with yourself? Where you don’t allow yourself to think negatively about you? This is HARD but so worth it.
If you can afford it, get yourself a hotel room or Air BnB and go alone for one night. Bring a cute set of PJ’s and a journal, maybe even some wine and decorations if you feel like going the extra mile for yourself. If you can’t afford to go away for the night, then stay home and do this when you have some alone time.
Ways To Work on Self Love Based on Your Love Language
Words of Affirmation:
- Grab your journal and write a list of all of the things you love about yourself. They can be as deep or as superficial as you want.
- Write your self 12 letters, one for each month of the year, that you can open during a low point in the month to give yourself a little boost.
- Stand in front of the mirror and say kind things about yourself, watch how your demeanor changes (it’s wild how this works!) “It’s the eyes for me… It’s that cute dimple for me… It’s the bomb ass personality for me…” you get the gist 🙂
- Write a note to your younger self with tenderness and love
- Take time for yourself. This could even be five minutes where you purpose your mind to check in with yourself and not think about anyone else. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? What do I need from myself right now?”
- Check into a hotel
- Book yourself a day at the spa
- Curl up with a good book that you’ve been wanting to read for fun
- Take time to journal. This is probably my favorite thing to do, personally. It helps you to get it all out and then years later you can come back and read what you wrote to see your progress.
- Read your Bible (if you have a physical Bible, use this instead of the phone app)
- At home or away, light tons of candles, put on some nice music based on your preference, sprinkle some rose petals around (grab them year round at the dollar store), and draw yourself a hot bath. If you’re feeling like you want to take your bath to the next level, check out the CBD and Regular Bath Bombs HERE.
- Take a scenic drive
- Get a blanket and lay under the stars
- Make yourself a picnic
- Get a massage
- Give yourself a foot reflexology massage (look up a chart online)
- Get to know your own body and work on allowing yourself to like what you see/feel
- Get a luxurious feeling lotion and slather it on (don’t forget your elbows!)
- Do a relaxing meditation or yoga flow
- Do a workout (Check out The Year of Yes home workout series from the Peloton app – you only need yourself and a small place to workout)
- Give yourself a limit and splurge on something you wouldn’t normally get for yourself
- Buy yourself a pretty pair of earrings or something that brings you joy. You don’t have to have a reason for getting it other than it makes you feel happy.
- Indulge in your favorite restaurant and eat alone or get take out. If you’re at a hotel, order room service and don’t skip dessert.
- Get yourself some chocolate from your favorite truffle place. If you need a suggestion, see if there is a Godiva in your area. Or make your own (use Mercken’s chocolate, it’s the best).
- Book yourself a sexy photoshoot or do one at home with a tripod for your phone
Acts of Service:
- Take some time and get your house cleaned
- Organize something in your house to make your life easier and in a way that makes you happy
- Shave your legs and attend to your other body hair
- Give yourself a facial
- Paint your nails
- Do something you have been putting off
- Clean out your car and vacuum it
- Make your bed
- Fold and PUT AWAY that load of laundry that’s been sitting in your basket
And lastly, check out this playlist I created just for you!
IF there is anything you take away from this post, it is to truly take the time to love yourself. Please reach out if you need some support or ideas! You’re not alone. Love and Light 🙂
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